One Day Down, Only 18 Days To Go

Today was one of the hardest days I’ve had to go through since you were born. I had to go back to work today. When I was pregnant with you, I was thinking, “well maybe I could go back to work”. Now that you are here, I know there is no way I could be a working mom before you are in school.
I am finishing the school year before I can stay home with you full-time, which means that I have 19 school days that I have to be away from you. Daddy has to take you to daycare every morning, because you can’t go until 7:30. I have to leave by 6:15 at the latest to get up to school on time. So I left you with Daddy this morning. You were still sleeping when I left. You looked so peaceful, so calm…and it made me cry. I know you are too young, but I worried about you waking up without your Mommy, having to take a bottle, and being away from me all day.
Daddy took you to daycare and said you were sleeping when he dropped you off. Even he felt weird just leaving you with someone else. You are going to Sophie’s Infant Care, which is an in-home daycare. Miss Amber is taking care of you, along with 4 other babies. You are the youngest by far, with the others being 4 months, 6 months, 7 months, and 21 months.
I still worry about you all the time, even though I know you are in good hands- Amber has six kids of her own and has been doing daycare for a very long time.
Before today, the longest I had ever been away from you was 30 minutes, and that’s when my mom was watching you as we were moving into our new house. I thought about you all day at school. It’s hard to teach when you are the only thing on my mind. The kids were good today, better than normal, but it was still difficult to be away from you.
As soon as school got out I left to come get you. I was worried the whole way back down to Leawood, but when I got there you were happy and content- drinking your bottle. It made me feel a little better that you were happy, but it also made me sad that someone else had seen you all day. Someone else had played with you, someone else had gotten those beautiful gummy smiles that you are just starting to do.
The countdown has begun. There is one day down, 18 days to go. I love you sweet sweet baby girl, and I always will.
Love,
Mama